74 Quotes About Life That Are Funny

Life is much better when you are able to laugh at it. Read these quotes about life that are funny to bring a smile to your face. You will see wisdom and truth in them and you just have to laugh! You may also enjoy our funny poems.

Quotes & Sayings  |    Quotes About Life That Are Funny

  1. As you slide down the banister of life, may the splinters never point the wrong way. - Irish Blessing

  2. Candy is natures way of making up for Mondays. Unknown Author - Monday Quotes

  3. Retirement is like becoming a new mother, without the hassles and challenges of raising a child. You feel like you�ve been thrown into a different life, far from what is familiar and wild. Julie Hebert, Challenges of Retirement - Funny Retirement Poems

  4. Be not simply good; be good for something. Thoreau - Graduation Poems

  5. Life is like a cup of coffee, some days you get the sweet aroma of success, and today, it's just a bitter grind. Amy E. A. Inder - Poems About Today

  6. A wedding band is the smallest handcuff ever made, I�m glad I chose my cellmate wisely. Author Unknown - Anniversary Quotes

  7. One advantage of marriage, it seems to me, is that when you fall out of love with each other, it keeps you together until maybe you fall in again. Judith Viorst - Marriage Poems

  8. Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed.
  9. Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed. Charles Schulz - Birthday Poems

  10. There are two ways of waking up in the morning. One is to say, 'Good morning, God'� and the other is to say, 'Good God, morning!' Fulton J. Sheen - Good Morning Wishes

  11. Sisters are the spice of life - sometimes sweet, sometimes bitter, but always adding flavor. Author Unknown - Poems About Sisters

  12. At eighty, you've seen it all, from disco dances to VHS's fall. C. A. Lynch, Eight Decades - 80th Birthday Poems

  13. Oh, the years have flown by, faster than sound, while I'm stuck counting wrinkles that I've found. C. A. Lynch, Chase Your Age - Happy Birthday Brother Poems

  14. If you don't make mistakes, you're not working on hard enough problems. And that's a big mistake. Frank Wilczek - Quotes About Mistakes

  15. Retirement: the stage of life where "Happy Hour" is no longer just an hour but a way of life. - Funny Retirement Messsages

  16. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an automobile. Billy Sunday - Christian Poems

  17. I got lost in him, and it was the kind of lost that�s exactly like being found. Claire LaZebnik - Love Poems For Him

  18. Retired is being tired twice, I've thought, first tired of working, then tired of not. Richard Armour - Retirement Poems

  19. Time is the same regardless of how much you pay for the watch. Craig D. Lounsbrough - Time Poems

  20. Behind every clever man is an even cleverer woman. Matshona Dhliwayo - Wisdom Poems

  21. When you are tempted to buy something you can't afford, go by it. Author Unknown, Steps to Success - Poems About Success

  22. Education is not the filling of a pot but the lighting of a fire. W.B. Yeat - Quotes About Education

  23. So cherish these birthdays, as they come and go, for funny how often a decade can bestow. C. A. Lynch, Each Decade - Milestone Birthday Poem

  24. Try this for one day: - Think as though your thoughts were visible to all about you. Author Unknown - Quotes To Make You Think

  25. Retirement: That's when you return from work one day and say, "Hi, Honey, I'm home, forever. Gene Perret - Retirement Sayings

  26. Knowledge is like underwear. It is useful to have it, but not necessary to show it off. Nicky Gumbel- Quotes To Inspire Graduates

  27. Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet to see who they really are. Will Ferrell - Engagement Poems

  28. I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me... they're cramming for their final exam. George Carlin - Christian Quotes

  29. Worry is like a rocking chair-it keeps you moving but doesn't get you anywhere. Corrie Ten Boom - Worry Quotes

  30. If you intend to be happy, don't be foolish enough to wait for a just cause. Author Unknown - Happy Poems

  31. Change is hardest at the beginning, messiest in the middle and best at the end.
  32. Change is hardest at the beginning, messiest in the middle and best at the end. Robin S. Sharma - Quotes That Inspire Change

  33. Life is like a sleigh ride with Santa Claus: it can be bumpy, there may be some unexpected turns, but if you hold on tight and enjoy the ride, you'll end up exactly where you're meant to be - with a bag full of presents and a heart full of joy. C. A. Lynch - Quotes About Santa Claus

  34. If every day was Saturday, oh how life would be a breeze, we'd lounge around in PJs and do just as we please. C. A. Lynch, If Every Day Was Saturday - Saturday Poems

  35. Wednesday is like a middle child - not as exciting as Monday or Friday, but still desperately trying to stand out in the crowd. Author Unknown - Wednesday Quotes

  36. If love was a storybook we�d meet on the very first page. Author Unknown - How Do I Love You Poems

  37. Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving. Albert Einstein - Quotes About Life Inspirational

  38. Take time to play, it is the secret of perpetual youth. Unknown, Take Time - Positive Poems

  39. In the cookies of life, sisters are the chocolate chips. Author Unknown - Quotes About Sisters

  40. One should also remember that the path to success is through the staircase and not through the elevator. Rakesh K Mittal - Quotes About Success

  41. Thanksgiving - when the people who are the most thankful are the ones who didn�t have to cook. Melanie White - Thanksgiving Poems

  42. Grandpas are the ones who can fix anything with a roll of duct tape and a little elbow grease. Author Unknown - Grandfather Quotes

  43. Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it. William Arthur Ward - Quotes About Gratitude

  44. Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much. Oscar Wilde - Forgiveness Quotes

  45. Be sure to live on the sunny side, and even then do not expect the world to look bright, if you habitually wear gray-brown glasses. Chas. H. Eliot - Quotes To My Daughter

  46. There are three stages of man: he believes in Santa Claus; he does not believe in Santa Claus; he is Santa Claus. Bob Phillips - Poems About Getting Older

  47. Life is hard. After all, it kills you. Katharine Hepburn - Quotes about Death

  48. If they can make penicillin out of moldy bread, they can sure make something out of you. Muhammad Ali - Quotes That Inspire

  49. Don't brag. It isn't the whistle that pulls the train. Author Unknown - Quotes To Inspire Students

  50. A man may have heart enough to love two women at the same time, but he certainly ought to have brains enough not to try it. Author Unknown - Love Sayings

  51. There are few friends in this wide world whose love is fond and true; But, when you count them over, place me among the few. J. S. Ogilvie - Quotes About Friends

  52. I want my children to have all the things I couldn�t afford. Then I want to move in with them. Phyllis Diller - Quotes About Mom

  53. You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake. Bob Hope - Funny Birthday Poems

  54. Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down. Oprah Winfrey - Quotes When Life Is Hard

  55. Love unlocks doors and opens windows that weren't even there before.
  56. Love unlocks doors and opens windows that weren't even there before. Mignon McLaughlin - Wedding Poems

  57. Don't waste today by talking about yesterday until it's finally tomorrow. Tim Fargo - Quotes About Today

  58. Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive. Elbert Hubbard - Quotes About Life Struggles

  59. I smile because you are my sister, I laugh because there is nothing you can do about it! Author Unknown - Birthday Poems For Sister

  60. Christmas is a race to see which gives out first - your money or your feet. Author Unknown - Christmas Poems

  61. Experience is a comb which nature gives us when we are bald. Proverb - Quotes That Encourage

  62. If I have any beliefs about immortality it is that certain dogs I know will go to heaven, and very very few people. James Thurber - Pet Loss Quotes

  63. Fun is like life insurance; the older you get, the more it costs. Kin Hubbard - Age Quotes

  64. More than Santa Claus, your sister knows when you've been bad and good. Linda Sunshine - Funny Birthday Poems For Sister

  65. Being a great father is like shaving. No matter how good you shaved today, you have to do it again tomorrow. Reed Markham - Quotes About Being A Dad

  66. My mother's menu consisted of two choices: Take it or leave it. - Mom Poems

  67. I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one.
  68. I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one. Maya Angelou - Positive Quotes

  69. Fear is a darkroom where negatives develop. Usman B. Asif - Quotes About Fear

  70. My keyboard must be broken, I keep hitting the escape key, but I'm still at work. Author Unknown - Work Quotes

  71. Life is short, smile while you still have teeth. Mallory Hopkins - Poems On Life

  72. Our love will grow, day by day - today and when we turn gray. C. A. Lynch, Forevermore - How To Write Marriage Vows

  73. You can complain about the direction of your life all you want, but until you sit in the driver�s seat and begin to drive yourself, you aren�t going to get where you want to go! Les Brown - Best Wishes To You

  74. Lost time is like a run in a stocking. It always gets worse. Anne Morrow Lindbergh - Time Quotes

  75. Though I am grateful for the blessings of wealth, it hasn�t changed who I am. My feet are still on the ground. I�m just wearing better shoes. Oprah Winfrey - Best Poems

  76. The home's so full of luxury now, it's almost like a club, I sometimes wish we could go back to that old wooden tub. Edgar A. Guest, The Old Wooden Tub - Poems About Home

  77. Home is the place we love best and grumble the most. Billy Sunday - Quotes about Home

  78. Romance is the glamour which turns the dust of everyday life into a golden haze. Elinor Glyn - Wedding Poems About Love

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