20 Funny Retirement Poems
One way to bring some extra joy and laughter to a retiree's face on their special day is with funny poems!Best Wishes Quotes  |  Retirement Poems   |  Funny Retirement Poems
By Julie Hebert
Last Updated October 2, 2024
Retiring from work marks an exciting time for the retiree. It's a time to relax and enjoy life without the pressures of a 9-5 job. Whether it's about the nostalgia of past days or comical musings about what it means, these funny poems are sure to get everyone in the right mood for celebration.
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You Lucky Soul
Poet: C. A. Lynch
Oh, retiree, you lucky soul,
Away from work, you now stroll.
While we toil and labor each day,
You're sipping coffee, stress-free they say.
Think of us in the rush hour plight,
Fighting traffic, morning and night.
Envious thoughts fill our weary minds,
As you leave it all behind, oh how time flies.
We'll miss you dearly, it's plain to see,
But you won't miss us or the work, you're free!
Enjoy your days of leisure and glee,
As we long for retirement, just like thee. -
Challenges Of Retirement
Poet: Julie Hebert
Retirement is like becoming a new mother,
Without the hassles and challenges of raising a child
You feel like you’ve been thrown into a different life,
Far from what is familiar and wild.
Don’t worry if times feel strange at first,
You’ll soon find your way.
A little soul-searching is all you need,
Then you’ll certainly be more than okay.
Think about all the things you have done,
And the things you would like to do.
This is the time to try new things,
See if you're more talented than you knew.
Also, take the time to reconnect,
With friends and family who drifted.
Life has a way of pulling people apart,
Your life can now be shifted.
Let your days be a little wild,
Go with the flow.
Allow yourself to go as fast as you want,
And be okay with it going slow. -
Calling It A Day
Poet: C. A. Lynch
We can't believe you're calling it a day
Stepping down and stepping away
We figured we have to carry you out of here
You're like a fixture, even if you are a dear.
Retiring you're finally doing it
Maybe you will come back in a bit
What will you do all day, who will you tease
We guess you will do just what you please.
Who is going to make us laugh and sing
And what about coffee, who will bring?
We don't know what we will do without you
Oh yes, we will do your work, that's true.
All joking aside, Congrats on your retirement
But calm down, don't show us your excitement!
Happy days ahead are in store for you
Doing what you want to do! -
Going To Miss
Poet: Tom S. Gold
We know you are going to miss the alarm clock
And all the juicy office talk.
Missed deadlines you will no longer have to worry
No longer will you have to hurry.
We can't believe you are leaving us today
You don't have to retire cause you're gray.
And a wrinkle here and there
We will let you stay, we don't care.
What? You want to retire, oh why
You don't have to retire, you don't have to comply.
You could stay and work all day
What? You want time to play!
Okay, okay, then retire this day
We loved working with you in every way
Let us know how it goes
We will let you retire, we suppose! -
Counting Down The Days
Poet: C. A. Lynch
You have been counting day this day for years
You have driven us crazy, brought us to tears
If we hear one more time how many days
You may not live to retire in any way.
You have dreamed about this day when
You can throw in the towel and the pen
No more work, no more boss
What will you do, you will be at a loss.
Your answer has always been
That you will do nothing, not lift a pen
Maybe you could farm and raise a few hens
Or go and visit a few cousins.
Well the dreaming is over, retirement is here
With it, we will not interfere
Have fun doing nothing all day
Hey, we love you in every way. -
No More 9 to 5
Poet: Julie Hebert
No more nine to five, oh what a thrill,
Retirement freedom is your will.
Gone are the days of desk and phone,
Now you're free just to roam.
Late mornings, naps in your chair,
Long weekends stretch out just about anywhere.
No dress code or putting up with folks,
A life of leisure is no joke! -
No More Alarm Clocks
Poet: Julie Hebert
Alarm clocks no longer beckon,
No need to drag yourself out of bed.
It's time to throw them in the garbage can;
Retirement is now in your head!
The boss you will forget with ease,
You no longer have to please;
But now the days are free for you,
Whatever you want, you can do. -
Your Free
Poet: C. A. Lynch
Oh dear coworker, now you're free,
Retirement's come, oh lucky thee!
No more deadlines, no more despair,
Adventures await you everywhere.
Sit in the sun, soak up the rays,
Nibble on chocolate throughout your days.
Sleep as long as you please, no alarm shall ring,
Enjoy your freedom – do whatever's your thing! -
No More Hump Days
Poet: C. A. Lynch
When I was working, Wednesdays were rough,
A hump to climb over, it felt pretty tough.
But now that I'm retired and living it up,
There are no more humps, so let's raise a cup!
No more rushing off to meetings or work,
Now every day is like a lazy perk.
So forget about hump day, it's all in the past,
Retirement's so good, and we're having a blast! -
So Sweet
Poet: Julie Hebert
Life of retirement, life so sweet
No more deadlines to meet.
Out of the grind and off your feet,
You will be smiling when we meet.
Morning strolls in your robe and slippers,
Don’t need to use any brain flippers!
Afternoons with a cup of coffee
Relaxing, eating toffee.
Fun-filled days of relaxation
Your departure will be a joyous vacation!
No more worries or bosses' demands,
No more meeting others' demands! -
You Are Blessed
Poet: Julie Hebert
No more alarm clocks,
No more business socks,
Retirement means rest
And no more silly tests.
Today it's time to start anew,
A time for what you want to pursue.
No meetings, no more stress,
Just enjoy life, oh you are blessed! -
A Life Of Desire
Poet: Julie Hebert
No more scurrying to the office like birds,
No more fretting till the day's end curtails,
No more days of the boss to annoy.
Retirement is a time to enjoy!
Days filled and gone with nothing but joys.
No more phones ringing and all that noise.
No clocks, meetings, or deadlines are required,
Retirement beckons a life of desire. -
Your Retirement Wish
Poet: Julie Hebert
Your retirement wish has come true,
No more 8 to 4; goodbye to you.
You've worked hard over the years,
We give you three cheers.
Gone are your work worries,
You now can spend time with your buddies.
Time to relax, rejuvenate, and reflect --
You now get to retire, oh, how perfect. -
No More Commands
Poet: Julie Hebert
Retire, my friend, for your job
Was quite taxing,
No more bosses and
Deadlines for harassing.
A life with no meetings or
Presentations to give,
Texts and emails gone,
You now get to live.
In this 9-to-5 world of
Constant demands,
Retire and be happy -
You no longer take commands. -
The Day Is Here
Poet: C. A. Lynch
The wait is over, the day is here
For all those years you've held so dear
Now it's time to put up your feet
We're excited for you, this is quite a feat.
No more alarms or early morns
Cheers to days with no formed norms
We wish you all the best, feel free as a dove
May retirement bring freedom and love! -
No More Countdown
Poet: Julie Hebert
The countdown is done,
The time has come:
Old work days are gone,
Hasta la vista fun!
Retirement is here to stay,
No more worries or dismay.
Time for leisure and lots of ease,
All the time you need to please.
Doing only things that make you glad,
With coffee or the latest fad.
No longer part of the worker bee life:
Retirement brings freedom and less strife. -
You Don't Look Old Enough
Poet: Julie Hebert
As I look around, I am feeling blue.
Retirement has come and said, 'We're through'.
I think to myself with a smile -
"You don't look old enough to retire!"
It seems you're like part of the furniture here -
A fixture - you have been here for years.
Manager or desk job, your performance was prime;
So it's strange when they say, 'It's time!'
But if retirement must be embraced in full,
Then happy you shall be; no longer work pull.
The world is your oyster and retirement is your choice,
Excitement awaits; for you, we rejoice! -
How You Play The Game
Poet: Unknown
Retirement - It's all in how you play the game, isn’t it?
Let's see now. How will I know when I am a senior?
Hmmmmmmm.....
Some places give me a senior discount at 55, some at 60, and some at 65.
My government pension will be sent to me when I am 65.
My company will arbitrarily retire me at 65.
(I'm going to beat them to the punch and retire at 60.)
So that means that parts of our society think 'senior' begins at 55.
How will I personally know?
Well, with a little bit of luck, I don't think I'll ever know.
It's all in how you play the game, isn't it? -
A Blast
Poet: Julie Hebert
It's time that you have earned,
Sit back and take your turn.
Unwind and say farewell to the workforce
We say goodbye with a bit of remorse.
Bid goodbye to rigid hours
And all your boss’s hidden powers.
You have time in each day
Do what you want in any way.
No stress and no rush,
Enjoy life with a lighthearted hush.
You can live life with fewer fights
As you retire, you have new sights.
Say bon voyage to drudgery
And enjoy with joyous luxury.
Retirement days are yours at last,
For fun times that will be a blast! -
Wave Goodbye
Poet: Julie Hebert
Time to retire, and wave goodbye
It's been a long time no one can deny
We will miss your smiling face, we will
How we wish we had the same life too!
With ease, you will rise with delight
Beautiful days and mornings so bright
You are free of all the strain
We envy you, no more stress or pain!
Happy retirement, may all wishes come true
Many people here will miss you.
Soon we will meet again one fine day
Where from worries you will be away!
General Poems with Retirement Humor
The retiree is already smiling, so add to that smile with one of these poems!
Related: Retirement Verses For Cards
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Day-To-Day Retirement Humor
No longer having to dread Mondays, or be thankful it is Friday. Remind the new retiree that day to day will be better now!
Related: Retirement Wishes
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Funny Verses about Freedom and Leisure
Humourous poems to remind the retiree of their newfound freedom.
Related: Retirement Sayings
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Funny Poems About Leaving Work and Commands
No more demands, no more commands! Funny verses that remind us of that fact!
Related: Funny Retirement Messages
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Funny Poems on Aging and Retirement
These funny poems reflect on leaving work and age!
Related: Funny Retirement Quotes
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Frequently Asked Questions
Here are some answers to questions that are often asked.
What are some funny retirement poems for teachers?
No more lesson plans to write,
No more papers to grade at night.
No more students asking, "Why?"
Just relax, give a big sigh.No more chalkboards, no more rules,
No more dealing with stubborn fools.
Retirement's here, it's finally true,
Now the only class is doing what you want to do!
          - More Retirement Poems For A Teacher
Do you have any funny retirement poems for coworkers?
Farewell to deadlines, meetings, and stress,
Hello to leisure, and a lot less mess.
You’ve worked so hard, you’ve earned your pay,
Now it’s time for endless play!We’ll miss your jokes and daily cheer,
But we’re happy retirement’s here.
Enjoy your days of endless fun,
We’ll keep the office running while you’re in the sun!
          - More Retirement Poems For Coworkers
Do you have any funny retirement poems for a boss?
No more office politics to navigate,
Just lazy mornings, sleeping late.
From the boss's chair to the beach’s sand,
Retirement's a life so grand!
You led us well with wisdom and grace,
Now it’s time to slow the pace.
No more meetings or emails to send,
Just relaxing days without an end!Are there any funny retirement poems for doctors?
No more patients, no more charts,
Just follow your heart to new arts.
From healing hands to carefree days,
Retirement brings joy in so many ways!No more scrubs, no more rounds,
Just the sweet sound of freedom’s bounds.
From the ER to your favorite chair,
Enjoy retirement, free from care!
Can you recommend a lighthearted retirement poem for a friend?
No more alarms, no more rush,
Just take your time, no need to hush.
Enjoy the days with nothing planned,
Retirement life is simply grand!
We’ve shared so many laughs and tears,
Now it’s time for restful years.
Enjoy each moment, come what may,
In retirement, have a blast every day!
          - More Retirement Poems for Friends
What are some funny poems about the perks of retirement?
No more schedules, no more grind,
Just the freedom you will find.
Sleep in late, stay up all night,
Retirement’s a wonderful flight!No more commutes, no more fuss,
Just the simple joy of us.
From hobbies to naps, and lazy days,
Retirement life is a blissful maze!Do you have any funny retirement poems for nurses?
No more rounds, no more meds,
Just cozy blankets and comfy beds.
From saving lives to saving time,
Retirement, oh so sublime!No more scrubs, no more shifts,
Just embrace the calm it gifts.
From patient care to self-care now,
Retirement's here, take a bow!May I use these funny poems in a card or an email or for personal use?
For sure, we wrote these poems to give you thoughts and words to share with family and friends as they retire. In addition, you may want to use them to bring a smile in a speech or take a line or two and use them as a toast to the retiree!
Can I use one of your poems on my website or in my book?
Please note all of the poems on our site are subject to copyright. If you wish to use any of our work, please contact us for permission before using it.
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Related:
Retirement Poems For Dad
Retirement Poems For Mom
Cheers To Retirement
Retirement Poems For Nurses
Retirement Poems For Pastors
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