4 Funny Retirement Poems

Share these funny retirement poems with the new retiree. They will bring a smile to their face and hopefully they will relate to the feelings the poems convey. The majority of people are happy to retire, but those of us who have not reached that magical age are often jealous, joking with the retiree is lots of fun. e

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  1. Challenges Of Retirement
    Poet: Julie Hebert


    Retirement is like becoming a new mother,
    Without the hassles and challenges of raising a child
    You feel like youve been thrown into a different life,
    Far from what is familiar and wild.

    Dont worry if times feel strange at first,
    Youll soon find your way.
    A little soul searching is all you need,
    Then youll certainly be more than okay.

    Think about all the things you have done,
    And the things you would like to.
    This is the time to try new things,
    See if you're more talented than you knew.

    Also, take the time to reconnect,
    With friends and family who drifted.
    Life has a way of pulling people apart,
    Your life can now be shifted.

    Let retirement be a little wild,
    Go with the flow.
    Allow yourself to go as fast as you want,
    And be okay with it going slow.



  2. Calling It A Day
    Poet: C. A. Lynch


    We can't believe you're calling it a day
    Stepping down and stepping away
    We figured we have to carry you out of here
    You're like a fixture, even if you are a dear.

    Retiring you're finally doing it
    Maybe you will come back in a bit
    What will you do all day, who will you tease
    We guess you will do just what you please.

    Who is going to make us laugh and sing
    And what about coffee, who will bring?
    We don't know what we will do without you
    Oh yes, we will do your work, that's true.

    All joking aside, Congrats on your retirement
    But calm down, don't show us your excitement!
    Happy days ahead are in store for you
    Doing what you want to do!



  3. Going To Miss
    Poet: Tom S. Gold


    We know you are going to miss the alarm clock
    And all the juicy office talk.
    Missed deadlines you will no longer have to worry
    No longer will you have to hurry.

    We can't believe you are leaving us today
    You don't have to retire cause your gray.
    And a wrinkle here and there
    We will let you stay, we don't care.

    What? You want to retire, oh why
    You don't have to retire, you don't have to comply.
    You could stay and work all day
    What? You want time to play!

    Okay, okay, then retire this day
    We loved working with you in every way
    Let us know how retirement goes
    We will let you retire, we suppose!



  4. Counting Down The Days
    Poet: C. A. Lynch


    You have been counting day this day for years
    You have driven us crazy, brought us to tears
    If we hear one more time how many day
    You may not live to retire in any way.

    You have dreamed about this day when
    You can throw in the towel and the pen
    No more work, no more boss
    What will you do, you will be at a loss.

    Your answer has always been
    That you will do nothing, not lift a pen
    Maybe you could farm and raise a few hens
    Or go and visit a few cousins.

    Well the dreaming is over, retirement is here
    With it, we will not interfere
    Have fun doing nothing all day
    Hey, we love you in every way.



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