20 Funny Retirement Poems

One way to help bring some extra joy and laughter to a retiree's face on their special day is with funny retirement poems!

Retiring from work marks an exciting time for the retiree. It's a time to relax and enjoy life without the pressures of a 9-5 job. Whether it's about the nostalgia of past days or comical musings about what retirement really means, these funny retirement poems are sure to get everyone in the right mood for celebration.

Best Wishes    |   Retirement Poems    |   Funny Retirement Poems

  1. You Lucky Soul
    Poet: C. A. Lynch

    Oh retiree, you lucky soul,
    Away from work, you now stroll.
    While we toil and labor each day,
    You're sipping coffee, stress-free they say.

    Think of us in the rush hour plight,
    Fighting traffic, morning and night.
    Envious thoughts fill our weary minds,
    As you leave it all behind, oh how time flies.

    We'll miss you dearly, it's plain to see,
    But you won't miss us or the work, you're free!
    Enjoy your days of leisure and glee,
    As we long for retirement, just like thee.

  2. Challenges Of Retirement
    Poet: Julie Hebert

    Retirement is like becoming a new mother,
    Without the hassles and challenges of raising a child
    You feel like youíve been thrown into a different life,
    Far from what is familiar and wild.

    Donít worry if times feel strange at first,
    Youíll soon find your way.
    A little soul-searching is all you need,
    Then youíll certainly be more than okay.

    Think about all the things you have done,
    And the things you would like to do.
    This is the time to try new things,
    See if you're more talented than you knew.

    Also, take the time to reconnect,
    With friends and family who drifted.
    Life has a way of pulling people apart,
    Your life can now be shifted.

    Let retirement be a little wild,
    Go with the flow.
    Allow yourself to go as fast as you want,
    And be okay with it going slow.

  3. Calling It A Day
    Poet: C. A. Lynch

    We can't believe you're calling it a day
    Stepping down and stepping away
    We figured we have to carry you out of here
    You're like a fixture, even if you are a dear.

    Retiring you're finally doing it
    Maybe you will come back in a bit
    What will you do all day, who will you tease
    We guess you will do just what you please.

    Who is going to make us laugh and sing
    And what about coffee, who will bring?
    We don't know what we will do without you
    Oh yes, we will do your work, that's true.

    All joking aside, Congrats on your retirement
    But calm down, don't show us your excitement!
    Happy days ahead are in store for you
    Doing what you want to do!

  4. Retirement poems for specific people:

    Retirement Poems for Friends

    Retirement Poems For Coworkers

    Retirement Poems For Teacher

  5. Going To Miss
    Poet: Tom S. Gold

    We know you are going to miss the alarm clock
    And all the juicy office talk.
    Missed deadlines you will no longer have to worry
    No longer will you have to hurry.

    We can't believe you are leaving us today
    You don't have to retire cause your gray.
    And a wrinkle here and there
    We will let you stay, we don't care.

    What? You want to retire, oh why
    You don't have to retire, you don't have to comply.
    You could stay and work all day
    What? You want time to play!

    Okay, okay, then retire this day
    We loved working with you in every way
    Let us know how retirement goes
    We will let you retire, we suppose!

  6. Counting Down The Days
    Poet: C. A. Lynch

    You have been counting day this day for years
    You have driven us crazy, brought us to tears
    If we hear one more time how many days
    You may not live to retire in any way.

    You have dreamed about this day when
    You can throw in the towel and the pen
    No more work, no more boss
    What will you do, you will be at a loss.

    Your answer has always been
    That you will do nothing, not lift a pen
    Maybe you could farm and raise a few hens
    Or go and visit a few cousins.

    Well the dreaming is over, retirement is here
    With it, we will not interfere
    Have fun doing nothing all day
    Hey, we love you in every way.

  7. No More 9 to 5
    Poet: Julie Hebert

    No more nine to five, oh what a thrill,
    Retirement freedom is your will.
    Gone are the days of desk and phone,
    Now you're free just to roam.

    Late mornings, naps in your chair,
    Long weekends stretch out just about anywhere.
    No dress code or putting up with folks,
    Retirement life of leisure is no joke!

  8. Your Free
    Poet: C. A. Lynch

    Oh dear coworker, now you're free,
    Retirement's come, oh lucky thee!
    No more deadlines, no more despair,
    Adventures await you everywhere.

    Sit in the sun, soak up the rays,
    Nibble on chocolate throughout your days.
    Sleep as long as you please, no alarm shall ring,
    Enjoy your freedom Ė do whatever's your thing!

  9. No More Hump Days
    Poet: C. A. Lynch

    When I was working, Wednesdays were rough,
    A hump to climb over, it felt pretty tough.
    But now that I'm retired and living it up,
    There are no more humps, so let's raise a cup!

    No more rushing off to meetings or work,
    Now every day is like a lazy perk.
    So forget about hump day, it's all in the past,
    Retirement's so good, and we're having a blast!

  10. More retirement words:

    Funny Retirement Messages

    Retirement Verses For Cards

    Retirement Wishes

    Retirement Sayings

  11. No More Alarm Clocks
    Poet: Julie Hebert

    Alarm clocks no longer beckon,
    No need to drag yourself out of bed.
    It's time to throw them in the garbage can;
    Retirement is now in your head!

    The boss you will forget with ease,
    You no longer have to please;
    But now the days are free for you,
    Whatever you want, you can do.

  12. The boss you will forget with ease, You no longer have to please
    Retirement Messages

  13. No More Commands
    Poet: Julie Hebert

    Retire, my friend, for your job
    Was quite taxing,
    No more bosses and
    Deadlines for harassing.

    A life with no meetings or
    Presentations to give,
    Texts and emails gone,
    You now get to live.

    In this 9-to-5 world of
    Constant demands,
    Retire and be happy -
    You no longer take commands.

  14. So Sweet
    Poet: Julie Hebert

    Life of retirement, life so sweet
    No more deadlines to meet.
    Out of the grind and off your feet,
    You will be smiling when we meet.

    Morning strolls in your robe and slippers,
    Donít need to use any brain flippers!
    Afternoons with a cup of coffee
    Relaxing, eating  toffee.

    Fun-filled days of relaxation
    Retirement is a joyous vacation!
    No more worries or bosses demands,
    No more meeting others demands!

  15. You Are Blessed
    Poet: Julie Hebert

    No more alarm clocks,
    No more business socks,
    Retirement means rest
    And no more silly tests.

    Today it's time to start anew,
    A time for what you want to pursue.
    No meetings, no more stress,
    Just enjoy life, oh you are blessed!

  16. A Life Of Desire
    Poet: Julie Hebert

    No more scurrying to the office like birds,
    No more fretting till the day's end curtails,
    No more days of the boss to annoy.
    Retirement is a time to enjoy!

    Days filled and gone with nothing but joys.
    No more phones ringing and all that noise.
    No clocks or meetings nor deadlines required,
    Retirement beckons a life of desire.

  17. No clocks or meetings nor deadlines required, Retirement beckons a life of desire.
    Funny Retirement Quotes

  18. Your Retirement Wish
    Poet: Julie Hebert

    Your retirement wish has come true,
    No more 8 to 4; goodbye to you.
    You've worked hard over the years,
    We give you three cheers.

    Gone are your work worries,
    You now can spend time with your buddies.
    Time to relax, rejuvenate and reflect --
    You now get to retire, oh how perfect.

  19. The Day Is Here
    Poet: C. A. Lynch

    The wait is over, the day is here
    For all those years you've held so dear
    Now it's time to put up your feet
    We're excited for you, this is quite a feat.

    No more alarms or early morns
    Cheers to days with no formed norms
    We wish you all the best, feel free as a dove
    May retirement bring freedom and love!

  20. No More Countdown
    Poet: Julie Hebert

    The countdown is done,
    The time has come:
    Old work days are gone,
    Hasta la vista fun!

    Retirement is here to stay,
    No more worries or dismay.
    Time for leisure and lots of ease,
    All the time you need to please.

    Doing only things that make you glad,
    With coffee or the latest fad.
    No longer part of the worker bee life:
    Retirement brings freedom and less strife.

  21. You Don't Look Old Enough
    Poet: Julie Hebert

    As I look around, I am feeling blue.
    Retirement has come and said, 'we're through'.
    I think to myself with a smile -
    "You don't look old enough to retire!"

    It seems you're like part of the furniture here -
    A fixture - you have been here for years.
    Manager or desk job, your performance was prime;
    So it's strange when they say, 'It's time!'

    But if retirement must be embraced in full,
    Then happy you shall be; no longer work pull.
    The world is your oyster and retirement is your choice,
    Excitement awaits; for you, we rejoice!

  22. How You Play The Game
    Poet: Unknown

    Retirement - It's all in how you play the game, isnít it?
    Let's see now. How will I know when I am a senior?
    Some places give me a senior's discount at 55, some at 60 and some at 65.
    My government pension will be sent to me when I am 65.
    My company will arbitrarily retire me at 65.
    (I'm going to beat them to the punch and retire at 60.)
    So that means that parts of our society think 'senior' begins at 55.
    How will I personally know?
    Well, with a little bit of luck, I don't think I'll ever know.
    It's all in how you play the game, isn't it?

  23. A Blast
    Poet: Julie Hebert

    It's time that you have earned,
    Sit back and take your turn.
    Unwind and say farewell to the workforce
    We say goodbye with a bit of remorse.

    Bid goodbye to rigid hours
    And all your bossís hidden powers.
    You have time in each day
    Do what you want in any way.

    No stress and no rush,
    Enjoy life with a lighthearted hush.
    You can live life with fewer fights
    As you retire, you have new sights.

    Say bon voyage to drudgery
    And enjoy with joyous luxury.
    Retirement days are yours at last,
    For fun times that will be a blast!

  24. Wave Goodbye
    Poet: Julie Hebert

    Time to retire, and wave goodbye
    Its been a long time no one can deny
    We will miss your smiling face, we will
    How we wish we had the same life too!

    With ease, you will rise with delight
    Beautiful days and mornings so bright
    You are free of all the strain
    We envy you, no more stress or pain!

    Happy retirement, may all wishes come true
    Many people here will miss you.
    Soon we will meet again one fine day
    Where from worries you will be away!

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