15 Funny Retirement Poems
One way to help bring some extra joy and laughter to a retiree's face on their special day is with funny retirement poems!
Retiring from work marks an exciting time for the retiree. It's a time to relax and enjoy life without the pressures of a 9-5 job.
Whether it's about the nostalgia of past days or comical musings about what retirement really means, these funny retirement poems are sure to get everyone in the right mood for celebration.
Retirement Poems  | Â
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Challenges Of Retirement
Poet: Julie Hebert
Retirement is like becoming a new mother,
Without the hassles and challenges of raising a child
You feel like you’ve been thrown into a different life,
Far from what is familiar and wild.
Don’t worry if times feel strange at first,
You’ll soon find your way.
A little soul-searching is all you need,
Then you’ll certainly be more than okay.
Think about all the things you have done,
And the things you would like to do.
This is the time to try new things,
See if you're more talented than you knew.
Also, take the time to reconnect,
With friends and family who drifted.
Life has a way of pulling people apart,
Your life can now be shifted.
Let retirement be a little wild,
Go with the flow.
Allow yourself to go as fast as you want,
And be okay with it going slow.

Retirement Poems for Friends
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Calling It A Day
Poet: C. A. Lynch
We can't believe you're calling it a day
Stepping down and stepping away
We figured we have to carry you out of here
You're like a fixture, even if you are a dear.
Retiring you're finally doing it
Maybe you will come back in a bit
What will you do all day, who will you tease
We guess you will do just what you please.
Who is going to make us laugh and sing
And what about coffee, who will bring?
We don't know what we will do without you
Oh yes, we will do your work, that's true.
All joking aside, Congrats on your retirement
But calm down, don't show us your excitement!
Happy days ahead are in store for you
Doing what you want to do!

Retirement Poems For Coworkers
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Going To Miss
Poet: Tom S. Gold
We know you are going to miss the alarm clock
And all the juicy office talk.
Missed deadlines you will no longer have to worry
No longer will you have to hurry.
We can't believe you are leaving us today
You don't have to retire cause your gray.
And a wrinkle here and there
We will let you stay, we don't care.
What? You want to retire, oh why
You don't have to retire, you don't have to comply.
You could stay and work all day
What? You want time to play!
Okay, okay, then retire this day
We loved working with you in every way
Let us know how retirement goes
We will let you retire, we suppose!

Retirement Poems For Teacher
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Counting Down The Days
Poet: C. A. Lynch
You have been counting day this day for years
You have driven us crazy, brought us to tears
If we hear one more time how many days
You may not live to retire in any way.
You have dreamed about this day when
You can throw in the towel and the pen
No more work, no more boss
What will you do, you will be at a loss.
Your answer has always been
That you will do nothing, not lift a pen
Maybe you could farm and raise a few hens
Or go and visit a few cousins.
Well the dreaming is over, retirement is here
With it, we will not interfere
Have fun doing nothing all day
Hey, we love you in every way.
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No More 9 to 5
Poet: Julie Hebert
No more nine to five, oh what a thrill,
Retirement freedom is your will.
Gone are the days of desk and phone,
Now you're free just to roam.
Late mornings, naps in your chair,
Long weekends stretch out just about anywhere.
No dress code or putting up with folks,
Retirement life of leisure is no joke!

Retirement Messages
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No More Alarm Clocks
Poet: Julie Hebert
Alarm clocks no longer beckon,
No need to drag yourself out of bed.
It's time to throw them in the garbage can;
Retirement is now in your head!
The boss you will forget with ease,
You no longer have to please;
But now the days are free for you,
Whatever you want, you can do.
Funny Retirement Quotes
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No More Commands
Poet: Julie Hebert
Retire, my friend, for your job
Was quite taxing,
No more bosses and
Deadlines for harassing.
A life with no meetings or
Presentations to give,
Texts and emails gone,
You now get to live.
In this 9-to-5 world of
Constant demands,
Retire and be happy -
You no longer take commands.
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So Sweet
Poet: Julie Hebert
Life of retirement, life so sweet
No more deadlines to meet.
Out of the grind and off your feet,
You will be smiling when we meet.
Morning strolls in your robe and slippers,
Don’t need to use any brain flippers!
Afternoons with a cup of coffee
Relaxing, eating toffee.
Fun-filled days of relaxation
Retirement is a joyous vacation!
No more worries or bosses demands,
No more meeting others demands!
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You Are Blessed
Poet: Julie Hebert
No more alarm clocks,
No more business socks,
Retirement means rest
And no more silly tests.
Today it's time to start anew,
A time for what you want to pursue.
No meetings, no more stress,
Just enjoy life, oh you are blessed!
Retirement Wishes
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A Life Of Desire
Poet: Julie Hebert
No more scurrying to the office like birds,
No more fretting till the day's end curtails,
No more days of the boss to annoy.
Retirement is a time to enjoy!
Days filled and gone with nothing but joys.
No more phones ringing and all that noise.
No clocks or meetings nor deadlines required,
Retirement beckons a life of desire.
Retirement Sayings
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Your Retirement Wish
Poet: Julie Hebert
Your retirement wish has come true,
No more 8 to 4; goodbye to you.
You've worked hard over the years,
We give you three cheers.
Gone are your work worries,
You now can spend time with your buddies.
Time to relax, rejuvenate and reflect --
You now get to retire, oh how perfect.
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No More Countdown
Poet: Julie Hebert
The countdown is done,
The time has come:
Old work days are gone,
Hasta la vista fun!
Retirement is here to stay,
No more worries or dismay.
Time for leisure and lots of ease,
All the time you need to please.
Doing only things that make you glad,
With coffee or the latest fad.
No longer part of the worker bee life:
Retirement brings freedom and less strife.

Poems About Success
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You Don't Look Old Enough
Poet: Julie Hebert
As I look around, I am feeling blue.
Retirement has come and said, 'we're through'.
I think to myself with a smile -
"You don't look old enough to retire!"
It seems you're like part of the furniture here -
A fixture - you have been here for years.
Manager or desk job, your performance was prime;
So it's strange when they say, 'It's time!'
But if retirement must be embraced in full,
Then happy you shall be; no longer work pull.
The world is your oyster and retirement is your choice,
Excitement awaits; for you, we rejoice!
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A Blast
Poet: Julie Hebert
It's time that you have earned,
Sit back and take your turn.
Unwind and say farewell to the workforce
We say goodbye with a bit of remorse.
Bid goodbye to rigid hours
And all your boss’s hidden powers.
You have time in each day
Do what you want in any way.
No stress and no rush,
Enjoy life with a lighthearted hush.
You can live life with fewer fights
As you retire, you have new sights.
Say bon voyage to drudgery
And enjoy with joyous luxury.
Retirement days are yours at last,
For fun times that will be a blast!
Happy Poems
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Wave Goodbye
Poet: Julie Hebert
Time to retire, and wave goodbye
Its been a long time no one can deny
We will miss your smiling face, we will
How we wish we had the same life too!
With ease, you will rise with delight
Beautiful days and mornings so bright
You are free of all the strain
We envy you, no more stress or pain!
Happy retirement, may all wishes come true
Many people here will miss you.
Soon we will meet again one fine day
Where from worries you will be away!
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