45 Funny Retirement Quotes

Quotes & Sayings  -   

1. Live life even more - walk out of here and shut the door Julie Hebert, Today
   Retirement Poems




2. Up, sluggard, and waste not life; in the grave will be sleeping enough. Ben Franklin
   Poems On Life




3. Good luck in your new endeavors! May those endeavors require lots of breaks!!
   Retirement Sayings




4. The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before your boss does. Author Unknown
   Poems That Inspire




5. Fishing Yesterday, Fishing Today, Fishing Tomorrow I must be retired. Author Unknown
   Retirement Messages




6. Life for you will be so grand...no more alarm clocks and no more worrying about being docked. C. A. Lynch
   Retirement Poems For Coworkers




7. Retirement is a new stage - it doesn't mean you have aged. C. A. Lynch
   Retirement Poems For Friends




8. No more tests to mark, no more recess breaks, no more loud remarks, no more putting on the brakes. Tom S. Gold, No More
   Retirement Poems For A Teacher




9. Looking forward to retirement at sixty and sixty-five, Seventy through to 90, blessed to still be alive. Julie Hebert
   Milestone Birthday Poem




10. Retirement is the time when you never do all the things you intended to do when you were still working.
    Author Unknown
    Retirement Wishes




11. When you retire, you switch bosses - from the one who hired you to the one who married you. Gene Perret
    Marriage Quotes




12. Retirement is waking up in the morning with nothing to do and by bedtime having done only half of it. Author Unknown
    Good Morning Wishes




13. Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty.....But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out. Phyllis Diller
    Birthday Wishes




14. May your retirement days be a reality of the days that you once only dreamed of. B. Clements
    Irish Blessings




15. In your retirement years never drink coffee at lunch; it will keep you awake in the afternoon. Author Unknown
    Cheers To Retirement




16. Who would think a challenge in retirement you would see....you no longer have the challenge of what do I wear, you don't even have to smile, you can be a bear. C. A. Lynch, A Challenge In Retirement?
    Retirement Challenges




17. No more hard times, only good times face you as you hit the golf course.
    Quotes When Life Is Hard




18. Retirement is what we all work our lives to get to! Julie Hebert
    Quotes About Life Inspirational




19. May you travel to new destinations, with freedom in your hair. Julie Hebert
    Your New Life Begins




20. In retirement, I look for days off from my days off. Mason Cooley
    A Poem For You




21. Retirement: It's nice to get out of the rat race, but you have to learn to get along with less cheese. Gene Perret
    Now Is The Time Poem




22. The worst thing about retirement is having to drink coffee on your own time. Author Unknown
    Retirement Again?





23. When a man retires, his wife gets twice the husband but only half the income. Chi Chi Rodriguez




24. He who laughs, lasts.
    Mary Pettibone Poole
    Quotes About Life Happiness




25. Retirement is like a long vacation in Las Vegas. The goal is to enjoy it the fullest, but not so fully that you run out of money.
    Jonathan Clements
    Quotes That Inspire




26. Retirement: No clock, no deadlines, no stress, no money!
    Author Unknown
    Quotes That Inspire Change




27. Don't worry about avoiding temptation ...As you grow older, it will avoid you. Winston Churchill
    Quotes About Life Struggles




28. What do you call someone who's happy on Mondays? Retired! Author Unknown
    Quotes About Life That Are Funny




29. Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save. Will Rogers
    Time Poems




30. It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man. Scott Elledge
    Time Quotes




31. A retired husband is often a wife's full-time job. Ella Harris




32. Retirement: World's longest coffee break.
    Author Unknown





33. The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off. Abe Lemons




34. When a man retires and time is no longer a matter of urgent importance, his colleagues generally present him with a watch.
    R.C. Sherriff




35. I'm retired - goodbye tension, hello pension!
    Author Unknown
    Quotes That Encourage




36. Retirement: When you stop lying about your age and start lying around the house.
    Author Unknown
    Best Poems




37. I have never liked working. To me a job is an invasion of privacy.
    Danny McGoorty




38. Retirement, when every day is Saturday!
    Author Unknown




39. Retirement is wonderful. It's doing nothing without worrying about getting caught at it.
    Gene Perret
    Quotes To Make You Think




40. The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off.
    Abe Lemons




41. The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before the boss does.
    Author Unknown




42. I've always had a love for my job, but I think my love will be stronger relaxing on my couch!
    Julie Hebert
    Best Wishes To You




43. Retirement means no pressure, no stress, no heartache... unless you play golf.
    Gene Perret




44. Retirement: It's nice to get out of the rat race, but you have to learn to get along with less cheese.
    Gene Perret




45. I'm not just retiring from the company, I'm also retiring from my stress, my commute, my alarm clock, and my iron.
    Hartman Jule