49 Funny Retirement Quotes
Retirement is a great thing especially when you have funny retirement quotes to bring a smile to the retiree's face. We have compiled a collection of quotes that will do just that! They could be used in a card or letter to send as part of your congratulations to the new retiree. Also bring a smile to the new retiree's face with these funny retirement poemsQuotes & Sayings -

- Live life even more - walk out of here and shut the door Julie Hebert, Today - Retirement Poems
- Up, sluggard, and waste not life; in the grave will be sleeping enough. Ben Franklin - Poems On Life
- Good luck in your new endeavors! May those endeavors require lots of breaks!! - Retirement Sayings
- The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before your boss does. Author Unknown - Poems That Inspire
- Fishing Yesterday, Fishing Today, Fishing Tomorrow I must be retired. Author Unknown - Retirement Messages
- Life for you will be so grand...no more alarm clocks and no more worrying about being docked. C. A. Lynch - Retirement Poems For Coworkers
- Retirement is a new stage - it doesn't mean you have aged. C. A. Lynch - Retirement Poems For Friends
- No more tests to mark, no more recess breaks, no more loud remarks, no more putting on the brakes. Tom S. Gold, No More - Retirement Poems For A Teacher
- Retirement is the beginning of an endless summer full of smiles and laughter! C. A. Lynch - Happy Poems
- Looking forward to retirement at sixty and sixty-five, Seventy through to 90, blessed to still be alive. Julie Hebert - Milestone Birthday Poem
- Retirement is the time when you never do all the things you intended to do when you were still working. Author Unknown - Retirement Wishes
- When you retire, you switch bosses - from the one who hired you to the one who married you. Gene Perret - Marriage Quotes
- Retirement is waking up in the morning with nothing to do and by bedtime having done only half of it. Author Unknown - Good Morning Wishes
- Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty.....But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out. Phyllis Diller - Birthday Wishes
- May your retirement days be a reality of the days that you once only dreamed of. B. Clements - Irish Blessings
- In your retirement years never drink coffee at lunch; it will keep you awake in the afternoon. Author Unknown - Cheers To Retirement
- Who would think a challenge in retirement you would see....you no longer have the challenge of what do I wear, you don't even have to smile, you can be a bear. C. A. Lynch, A Challenge In Retirement? - Retirement Challenges
- No more hard times, only good times face you as you hit the golf course. - Quotes When Life Is Hard
- Retirement is what we all work our lives to get to! Julie Hebert - Quotes About Life Inspirational
- May you travel to new destinations, with freedom in your hair. Julie Hebert - Your New Life Begins
- In retirement, I look for days off from my days off. Mason Cooley - A Poem For You
- Retirement: It's nice to get out of the rat race, but you have to learn to get along with less cheese. Gene Perret - Now Is The Time Poem
- The worst thing about retirement is having to drink coffee on your own time. Author Unknown - Retirement Again?
- When a man retires, his wife gets twice the husband but only half the income. Chi Chi Rodriguez
- He who laughs, lasts. Mary Pettibone Poole - Quotes About Life Happiness
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Retirement is like a long vacation in Las Vegas. The goal is to enjoy
it the fullest, but not so fully that you run out of money.
Jonathan Clements - Quotes That Inspire - Indulge in hobbies, explore new lands, just remember, napping is always in demand! - Retirement Verses For Cards
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Retirement is a celebration where Monday mornings and alarm clocks are kicked to the curb,
and lazy Sundays become a full-time gig. Every day is a cause for celebration!
C. A. Lynch
Celebration Poems - Retiring from nursing may mean the end of the shift, but it doesn't have to be the end of the laughter! C. A. Lynch - Retirement Poems For Nurses
- Retirement: No clock, no deadlines, no stress, no money! Author Unknown - Quotes That Inspire Change
- Don't worry about avoiding temptation ...As you grow older, it will avoid you. Winston Churchill - Quotes About Life Struggles
- What do you call someone who's happy on Mondays? Retired! Author Unknown - Quotes About Life That Are Funny
- Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save. Will Rogers - Time Poems
- It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man. Scott Elledge - Time Quotes
- I'm retired - goodbye tension, hello pension! Author Unknown - Quotes That Encourage
- Retirement: When you stop lying about your age and start lying around the house. Author Unknown - Best Poems
- I've always had a love for my job, but I think my love will be stronger relaxing on my couch! Julie Hebert - Best Wishes To You
- Retirement is wonderful. It's doing nothing without worrying about getting caught at it. Gene Perret - Quotes To Make You Think
- The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off. Abe Lemons
- A retired husband is often a wife's full-time job. Ella Harris
- Retirement: World's longest coffee break. Author Unknown
- When a man retires and time is no longer a matter of urgent importance, his colleagues generally present him with a watch. R.C. Sherriff
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I have never liked working. To me a job is an invasion of privacy.
Danny McGoorty -
Retirement, when every day is Saturday!
Author Unknown - The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off. Abe Lemons
- The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before the boss does. Author Unknown
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Retirement means no pressure, no stress, no heartache... unless you play golf.
Gene Perret -
Retirement: It's nice to get out of the rat race, but you have to learn to get along with less cheese.
Gene Perret -
I'm not just retiring from the company, I'm also
retiring from my stress, my commute, my alarm clock, and my iron.
Hartman Jule
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Retirement can be a fun time and sometimes only quotes said by other people can help spread that cheer. Feel free to use these quotes in your planning and preparation process. We hope you have found these quotes to be somewhat comical as we did. Retirement is definitely not a joke, but like everything else in life, there are funny moments about it. We hope you are laughing on your retirement and making the most of a great situation.
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