The Art Of A Good Marriage
Happiness in marriage is not something that just happens.
A good marriage must be created. In marriage the little things are the
big things. It is never being too old to hold hands.
It is remembering to say "I love you" at least once a day.
It is never going to sleep angry. It is at no time taking the other for
granted; the courtship should not end with the honeymoon, it should
continue through the years. It is having a mutual sense of values and
common objectives. It is standing together facing the world. It is
forming a circle of love that gathers the whole family.
It is doing things for each other, not in the attitude of duty or
sacrifice, but in the spirit of joy. It is speaking words of
appreciation and demonstrating gratitude in thoughtful ways.
It is not looking for perfection in each other. It is cultivating
flexibility, patience, understanding and a sense of humour.
It is having the capacity to forgive and forget. It is giving each other
an atmosphere in which each can grow old. It is a common search for the
good and the beautiful. It is establishing a relationship in which the
independence is equal, dependence is mutual and the obligation is
reciprocal. It is not only marrying the right partner; it is being the
Wilferd Arlan Peterson (1900-1995)
Then Almitra spoke again and said, "And what of Marriage, master?" And
he answered saying: You were born together, and together you shall be
forevermore. You shall be together when white wings of death scatter
your days. Aye, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God.
But let there be spaces in your togetherness, And let winds of the
heavens dance between you. Love one another but make not a bond of love:
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls. Fill
each other's cup but drink not from one cup. Give one another of your
bread but eat not from the same loaf. Sing and dance together and be
joyous, but let each one of you be alone, Even as the strings of a lute
are alone though they quiver with the same music. Give your hearts, but
not into each other's keeping. For only the hand of Life can contain
your hearts. And stand together, yet not too near together: For the
pillars of the temple stand apart, And the oak tree and the cypress grow
not in each other's shadow.
Kahlil Gibran (1883-1931)
Because to the depths of me, I long to love one person,
With all my heart, my soul, my mind, my body...
Because I need a forever friend to trust with the intimacies of me,
Who won't hold them against me,
Who loves me when I'm unlikable,
Who sees the small child in me, and
Who looks for the divine potential of me...
Because I need to cuddle in the warmth of the night
With someone who thanks God for me,
With someone I feel blessed to hold...
Because marriage means opportunity
To grow in love in friendship...
Because marriage is a discipline
To be added to a list of achievements...
Because marriages do not fail, people fail
When they enter into marriage
Expecting another to make them whole...
Because, knowing this,
I promise myself to take full responsibility
For my spiritual, mental and physical wholeness
I create me, I take half of the responsibility for my marriage
Together we create our marriage...
Because of this understanding
The possibilities are limitless.
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