the best man! You are honored to have been asked. But, what are your best man
Here is a list
of some of the things the Best Man does for the Groom. You may want to talk it
over with the Groom to see if he agrees, or if there are other things he would
like you to do. You may also find having a
wedding checklist helpful to help you understand all that is involved in
making a wedding complete. If there is anything you think you can help with, let
the engaged couple know.
Be available to help the groom pick out the engagement ring if he needs help
Okay so one of your closest friends is getting
ready to make the biggest decision of his life and he needs moral support
from his best bud. Whether it is just to confirm his intuition is correct that,
'she is the one', or to help him choose from the many different choices of rings out there.
You may not even know that you will be his best man yet, but if you think
you are in the running, make sure you are there for him during this
Say 'Yes' and be excited and honored
Being asked by one of your closest friends to be his best man his a huge honor. He is entrusting you to make sure he is organized and that everything goes smoothly on the most important day of his life. So, don't just assume and answer as if you expected this all along. Be grateful and humble. He could of asked anyone of his friends or a family member, but he chose you!
For most best men, this is exciting and fun, but
planning it may not be so exciting. But don't worry, its not really that
hard. Find a theme that you know the Groom will enjoy. Then find a venue
that will support the theme. From there you will need to decide on music,
entertainment, food and beverages. Don't forget to invite the guests! You
may want to choose guests according to the entertainment as well. If its a
low key event, anyone is probably okay to invite. If its not low key,
think carefully. Lastly, check with the Groom about what type of bachelor
party he wants. Not all men want the wild bachelor parties! Some
couples nowadays perfer to have combine parties vs. having a separate
bachelor party and wedding shower.
Help the Groom pick out
the formal wear for himself and his groomsmen
This might not be as daunting as you think. Most Brides will have a clear idea of what the Groom and the Bridal Party should look like.
If this is true in your case, all you have to do is show up when its time to
try on the formal wear and for fittings. If the Groom is choosing, you may
have to help him coordinate the outfits. The Groom usually will look similar
to the Grooms men, but there will be something very different on him to
signal he is the Groom. It may be a different colour tie or bow, it may be
his jacket, it all depends on what the Bride and Groom want.
Check in with the Groom
if he is writing his own vows.
Not ever Groom will find writing his own vows easy. This is not something you can write for him, but you can check in with him to see how it is going. You might even be able to offer some
wedding vow ideas if you have done this
Buy a wedding gift
You might think that being his Best Man is
present enough, but its customary for the Best Man to purchase a gift like
everyone else. If you can't think of anything
wedding gift ideas that both the Bride and Groom could enjoy, best to choose something they need from their registry.
Don't forget to include a wedding card
message to share your enjoyment for them on this special day.
Attend all pre-wedding events
There are going to be dinners and rehearsals and maybe some get together's prior to the wedding that you are obligated to be at. Don't try and get out of any of them unless it is a very, very good reason.
Help the Groom
get ready for the ceremony
Make sure everything fits well. We don't want the
Groom going out there with pants too small or a jacket that is too big. Help
him to put on his cuffs or correctly put on his tie. Any other articles that he is not accustomed on wearing may need a little help from his Best Man.
Assist all of the Groom's wedding party on putting
on their boutonnieres
Oh the dreaded boutonnieres, the Grooms party worst nightmare. Hopefully you have been in a wedding before and know how to put these on correct and without harming yourself or anyone else. If you haven't I would suggest finding someone who has prior to the wedding to teach you so you can look like a pro when all the men are asking where it goes and how to get it to stay in place!
Just in case you can't find anyone, here is a quick run through: the
boutonniere should be pinned to the left lapel (lowest part of the collar
parallel to the tie). Once positioned, start pinning from the back of the
lapel going through to the thickest part of the flower then back through the
lapel. Make sure it is sturdy and not going to flop or turn.
Keep the Groom happy and calm
Need I say more. Your job and to make sure the Groom shows up, is happy and is as calm as possible.
Affirm 'everything is going well' when the Bride
asks, because she will!
The Bride will most definitely want to know that the Groom is doing okay and has arrived. She will also want to make sure everything is running smoothly. Of course she has her Maid of Honor who she will be asking, but she will also be checking in with you. So make sure you have answers that will satisfy and calm any worries she may have.
Drive the Groom
to the wedding ceremony
Drive him or make sure you are with him if he has chosen a different mode of transportation. If there are any delays, it is your responsibility to make sure the Bridal party knows about them.
Assist any guests needing
If there are any guest with disabilities, watch for them so you can assist
them in getting to their seat safely. Also, anyone who looks lost or
confused, always nice to check in to see if you could be of assistance.
Bring the Brides'
wedding band to the ceremony
You will be entrusted with the Brides wedding
band. Keep it somewhere safe, don't forget it and whatever you do, don't
Stand next to the Groom during the ceremony
Another one of your jobs will be to stand next to the Groom during the ceremony.
Depending on the length of the ceremony, this could be anywhere from 15 mins
to an hour. Be prepared. Also make sure you aren't doing anything that could
call attention to you. Remember this day isn't about you, its about the
Bride and Groom. So be respectful.
Hold the Brides
wedding band during the ceremony
While you are standing up next to the Groom, another thing you will have to do is hold the Brides wedding ring until the officiant asks for them. When he calls for the rings, you will walk over to the officiant and carefully place them in his hand or on the bible.
wedding certificate as a witness
The Maid of Honor and you will be witnesses to
this marriage and need to sign where indicated on the wedding certificate.
Don't sign and run, most photographers will want to take a picture of you
signing and they usually will want you to stand next to or slightly behind
the Maid of Honor to have a picture taken while she is signing also.
officiate the fee immediately before or after the ceremony (the groom should
give this to you in an envelope before leaving for the church)
You will have to check with the Groom to know
when you need to pay the officiant, but if it is after the ceremony, it
needs to be done as soon as the Bride and Groom exit the venue. This may be
difficult as you will be walking with the Maid of Honor after the newlyweds.
If you are able to do it before, this may be ideal. Just make sure its right
when he or she arrives as to not be in front of all the guests. Don't forget
to thank him for the Bride and Groom.
Escort the Maid
of Honor in the recessional
The Maid of Honor will be the person you are paired up with for any of the formal exits or entrances. So get to know her a little before the wedding so things aren't awkward. You'll be walking arm in arm, dancing and taking lots of pictures with this person.
gathering the wedding party and family for photographs
This can be a very confusing time and people always seem to wander away. Make sure the wedding party know to stay close and have a place for the family to gather not far from where the pictures will be taken. That way when its time, everyone is close.
Pose for pictures
with the groom before and after the wedding
There will be a lot of
wedding pictures being taken. You will have to look like you aren't bored, exhausted and that you are happy. So get your game face on! You may also be asked to do some silly poses which may be out of your comfort zone. Do your best to fit in and to make these pictures look natural. Remember, you aren't doing it for yourself, but for your best bud.
Dance with the Maid of Honor
Not every wedding reception will have the bridal party dance together, but most do. So again, get to know the Maid of Honor. Find someone who can teach you how to dance if you don't know how to and have fun.
Some receptions now a days will have the bridal party do some funny and
entertaining things for the guests or the bride. Be up for it, don't stray
away or do things half fast because you are uncomfortable. Remember its
their special day and you want it to go perfectly.
Give the first
toast/speech at the reception
The Best Man speech is always a difficult task for the Best Man.
Keep in mind, you don't have to have some embarrassing story to share.
Sometimes the best wedding speech is said from the heart. Tell the best man how much
their friendship means to you and how happy you are for them. Also, its
always nice to compliment the Bride! Unfortunately the Best Man speech has
gotten a bad reputation over the year. Prove them wrong and deliver a speech
that will make them all smile and warm their hearts. Include some nice
wedding quotes or
wedding blessings. If you find a
nice wedding poem, that is always a nice option to
use in a wedding toast as well.
Help decorate the
honeymoon car (you may or may not want to discuss this with the groom)
Make sure you are being respectful with their car, but yes, a fun getaway vehicle for the
Bride and Groom is always a nice and fun way to exit the reception. Makes
for great pictures too!
Make sure the
wedding gifts are moved after the wedding reception
Find out prior to the reception where the gifts should be moved to until the following day when they will be opened. Make sure it is a safe and secure place and is done before you leave the reception hall for the night.
Return the Grooms
tuxedo after the wedding
Your final responsibility as the Best Man will be
to return the Grooms rented tuxedo. Make sure it gets returned in time as to
not incur late charges.